i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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