peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
