Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
