Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
