Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
