drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
MIDGETS
????
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
