mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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