Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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