Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
