Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
