She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
