the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
