he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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