I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Of course I have a pirate flag
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
