Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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