i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
