Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
