In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
