do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
