yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
