i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
