I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
