We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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