I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
