i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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