Buhtt sex?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
