Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
