I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Bring me that man meat
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
