come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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