I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I FOUND THE LEGS
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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