Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
