I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Randomize
