He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
