maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
