'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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