Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
