Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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