that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
