She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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