You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
