So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
