His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
