Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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