i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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