Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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