margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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