In the future we'll all be gay
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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