We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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