sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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