I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
