I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
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