I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
