i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
